The alternative universe of India’s national masters championships

India’s outdoor masters nationals were held Jan. 5-9 in Vidisha, Madhya Pradesh state, according to the Free Press Journal. We learn: “In the competition in which each and every state took part, Manipur was the leading winner who won 76 gold medals, 45 silver medals and 53 bronze medals and overall 156 medals.” But no actual event results. So I strolled over to the MAFI website. No marks are listed for the weekend meet. But behold! Results from 2015 nationals are posted. This was the topic of an earlier rant. So I gazed upon the results, and what do I find? Nonsense. Lots of hand-times and a seemingly random listing of names. Also craziness. “Rajesh Kumar M 35+ 110m Hurdles 0.838194444,” for example. And “Gamit Hemant K M 45+ 4 X 100m Relay 54:03:00.” And “Anil Kumar M 35+ 200m 1.019444444.” Maybe I don’t want this year’s results after all.